Thursday: 10AM
The good news is, I've been keeping up with my workout schedule at the gym, and I'm feeling better and better all the time. My brain is more bubbly and alert, and my body feels, well, slinkier when I move.
The not so good news is, I haven't even started attending classes yet this semester and am not sure my body will be able to keep up with this gym-torture once I'm immersed in reading and writing and driving all over town from work to campus to the gym and back the next 3 or 4 months.
But, I'm determined to keep it real; to keep all of it at a level where I'm not pushing myself so hard that I don't ever want to go back. It has to be doable for me: maintainable and sustainable. Many of us who are artists or writers, I think, push ourselves too far in a kind of self-sabotage when we are trying to accomplish something we perceive as 'going to be really big'.
I've been reading David Lynch's book called "Catching the Big Fish", and in it he talks about his creative process, and how he cultivates a focused and peaceful state of mind through meditation. When he goes about starting a project, he says, he never knows how it's going to turn out. He just starts small, and little by little, he delves into the well that is his mind for bigger and bigger "fish", as he calls his ideas. But big ideas don't happen all at once. Creativity is a process, and one that is undertaken through trial and error, luck, chance, help from others, and of course, serendipity. Lynch says that all the pieces in a creative project have to fit in order to work well. When there is a good fit, you feel it.
Ultimately, it's about getting better at feeling that good fit, and staying true to your original idea, he says, and for me it's about becoming more confident and trusting myself. Just this morning, I received an email asking for permission to feature an excerpt from a comment I made in an online magazine. I had not expected to receive attention from the comment when I made it; it just came from the heart.
I hope more ideas will come from my heart as I progress in my creative journey. That's, as I see it, the only way to keep it real.
http://www.librarything.com/work/book/68541152